You know you'll never be lonely, no you'll always be loved
And maybe you never need more than that
But for the surplus that loves, what's to become of us?
Does it even register on your conscience?
Long for one last showdown from a box in a crowd
Air compressed tight to explode
I'm clenching my ticket to the only way out
As you disappear in a puff of smoke
It's a half life
With you as my quarterback
A daft life
- Imogen
Monday, October 26, 2009
Monday, October 19, 2009
Dreamin' Alone
Feeling like I was never going to make it in this world was how I felt the day it dawned on me that I was always going to be dyslexic. I knew that the struggles that I was facing would always be real, always persist, and that unless I accepted my fate I was never going to be able to cope with my disability. I have made many strides as a person from that day, not just in understanding, but in goal setting, drive and wanting for a better tomorrow. The best thing that has happened to me as a result for my learning disability is not one thing at all, but two. First is that I have an ability to see the world with a bit more sympathy then the common individual. Second is that I have found my true voice.
The ability to have a heightened awareness for those who are struggling has occurred over time. I have become more sympathetic to others’ disabilities and understanding how they may be struggling. This has made me more of a rounded person then my participation in sports and the arts. Having this sympathy and understanding helps me in other faculties of life. The results is that I have tapped into different activities that although they may have seemed interesting from the outside, I never would have had as significant a passion for them. An example of this is my taking American Sign Language (ASL) for my foreign language requirement. I was never given the opportunity to take any form of foreign language classes in middle or high school. When given the chance here at Landmark I could not pass on the offer. The deaf community is very similar to the LD community, they are both very misunderstood. I have found in part to my understanding and drive for a better tomorrow I saw an opportunity laid out before me. I have grown in my understanding and awareness of the deaf community, a community that I never would have known had I not the compassion or drive to dig deeper.
The ability to have understanding for yourself in a setting is crucial. For someone with a learning disability diagnosis, the demand is much more heightened. Understanding myself and my diagnoses is quintessential for my current and future success. Finding my true voice was an extremely difficult task. I was handed one a voice, or identity, with my diagnosis, and the mental sigma that it carried was a difficult one to break down. It took years of learning to understand myself and my diagnosis to aid in finding my voice. I did not understand why this was necessary until my early high school years. I went to a public middle school and then transitioned to my town’s public high school. Not to say that my middle school was sheltered, but the way my transition went was a complete debacle. I found my self suck in a world where it seemed not one person understood me, not even those teachers in the LRT (Learning Resource Team) The daunting reality that this was going to be the placed that prepared me for college was not something I was eager to except. I felt doomed.
The first day that I recall standing up for myself was the day that I cracked. It was a Thursday afternoon in mid September afternoon. Play rehearsal for the fall musical was about to begin, however I was running late from oral supplementation with my honors biology teacher Ms.Rainoff. My LRT proctor had to sit in on each supplementation because of an agreement that she was not to be left alone with me, something stemming from her feeling uncomfortable by my fourteen year-old presence. I recall running to the theater, knowing that I was late, however the tears started bursting the closer I got. I realized then that the theater was my escape route, the one place that had no restrictions. There was no one telling me to keep inside the lines, no one criticizing my spelling or comprehension. Having a group that was built around personal success and creative unity, I realized that that the theater allowed me a complete mental escape where I could be myself, without labels or boundaries.
The mental escape to the theater from my learning disability was a gift that allowed me to grow as a person, and to better understand those around me. Without this gift I never would have taken the time to look around, and see the world the way I see it today.
The ability to have a heightened awareness for those who are struggling has occurred over time. I have become more sympathetic to others’ disabilities and understanding how they may be struggling. This has made me more of a rounded person then my participation in sports and the arts. Having this sympathy and understanding helps me in other faculties of life. The results is that I have tapped into different activities that although they may have seemed interesting from the outside, I never would have had as significant a passion for them. An example of this is my taking American Sign Language (ASL) for my foreign language requirement. I was never given the opportunity to take any form of foreign language classes in middle or high school. When given the chance here at Landmark I could not pass on the offer. The deaf community is very similar to the LD community, they are both very misunderstood. I have found in part to my understanding and drive for a better tomorrow I saw an opportunity laid out before me. I have grown in my understanding and awareness of the deaf community, a community that I never would have known had I not the compassion or drive to dig deeper.
The ability to have understanding for yourself in a setting is crucial. For someone with a learning disability diagnosis, the demand is much more heightened. Understanding myself and my diagnoses is quintessential for my current and future success. Finding my true voice was an extremely difficult task. I was handed one a voice, or identity, with my diagnosis, and the mental sigma that it carried was a difficult one to break down. It took years of learning to understand myself and my diagnosis to aid in finding my voice. I did not understand why this was necessary until my early high school years. I went to a public middle school and then transitioned to my town’s public high school. Not to say that my middle school was sheltered, but the way my transition went was a complete debacle. I found my self suck in a world where it seemed not one person understood me, not even those teachers in the LRT (Learning Resource Team) The daunting reality that this was going to be the placed that prepared me for college was not something I was eager to except. I felt doomed.
The first day that I recall standing up for myself was the day that I cracked. It was a Thursday afternoon in mid September afternoon. Play rehearsal for the fall musical was about to begin, however I was running late from oral supplementation with my honors biology teacher Ms.Rainoff. My LRT proctor had to sit in on each supplementation because of an agreement that she was not to be left alone with me, something stemming from her feeling uncomfortable by my fourteen year-old presence. I recall running to the theater, knowing that I was late, however the tears started bursting the closer I got. I realized then that the theater was my escape route, the one place that had no restrictions. There was no one telling me to keep inside the lines, no one criticizing my spelling or comprehension. Having a group that was built around personal success and creative unity, I realized that that the theater allowed me a complete mental escape where I could be myself, without labels or boundaries.
The mental escape to the theater from my learning disability was a gift that allowed me to grow as a person, and to better understand those around me. Without this gift I never would have taken the time to look around, and see the world the way I see it today.
Monday, October 12, 2009
The majority of my work day is spent with this song on repeat
I am slowly becoming the other women, get excited for this lesbian DRAMA...
But enjoy this fantastic video, my swiss-miss Robyn and Royksopp beat masters
To much techno? Never!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfckrfOYAy4
But enjoy this fantastic video, my swiss-miss Robyn and Royksopp beat masters
To much techno? Never!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SfckrfOYAy4
Friday, October 9, 2009
Made it thus far
Never read so much in my life, forgot how much energy decoding takes from me to read a simple text.
It is officially October break and I am still breathing! I will keep pushing myself further and taking on new and interesting tasks. I love all my classes for this semester, finally done with distribution requirements I can take interesting classes, ie hard literature/writing intensive.
Why am I doing this again?
It is officially October break and I am still breathing! I will keep pushing myself further and taking on new and interesting tasks. I love all my classes for this semester, finally done with distribution requirements I can take interesting classes, ie hard literature/writing intensive.
Why am I doing this again?
Friday, October 2, 2009
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