As we look around

There are so many issues with this situation; life has come and gone and we never stop and remember that this moment will be over before we even get a chance to treasure it.

I over analyze everything, the way I breath the way I talk the way I interact with people how people interact with me; you name it I have analyzed it in some way. But what I don't understand is how people can be so blind to the good. How we can sit around and never find the true essence of another, how we simply forget to appreciate each other for the simple beauties that we all are.

Because of this we don't give ourselves the respect we deserve and the rippled effect of this is not respecting others. I have come to understand in my 20 short years here on earth that I am wonderful, its not cocky it is simply true. Me, I, self is wonderful, I give and I love and I fail but I try and that is all I can do. I do my best to give my best and expect that something at some point will go my way, that somewhere along some road I will find it. ('It' being that mystifying thing we search for; money, greed, fame, success, love, lust, family etc.)

Possitivity, its my new jazz.
I am only a creature, a being but I myself am wonderful.

Novel

I wrote this a long time ago, simply titled 'Dyslexia: A love affair'

The ringer to my imaginary dial tone
Take the pages flip them, burn them, rip them
Seize the fighting dance and turn it into a poetic ballet
Lacking ability or so it is stated

I was yours, you broke me

Life is fireflies in the darkness
Delayed imaginary theories brought on silver platters
Shoulders cupped like pooled waters
Lifeless like an infants cry

I am distant like the ocean

Violet is the morning, rusty with leftover dewdrops
Hovering, hovering distance
Sing the phrases of my existence
Sing the lapping ever-longing hum of societies claimed professors

I am free, I am breathing

Beautiful grace, heavenly dusk
Mournful dove broken by dreams
Rosemary sprinkled daybreak

I am longing, I will wait

Losing in every moment, attempting to get by
Breathing in the negative surrounding
Suffocate on letters and sounds
A Genetic disposition

and it comes and goes

There comes a time where you need to give in, where fighting is irrelevant, where hoping for better is useless and where giving up is your best option. On most occasions I never say never, but recently things have been so unsecure that I feel like giving up is the best option.

This is not about one things, hardship or dilemma but more the moral of giving in taking my loses as they come packing up and heading out. No I am not transferring this is just my mental state in the current, I dwell, to much, I need a hobby something to get my extra energy out on, but yet I feel constant fatigue and no energy when I am given the opportunity.

Possibly this is because of the dwelling...

Brighter tomorrows and happy todays. I carry on, chipper and light with an air in my step hoping someone finds me fun and enjoyable enough to skip with me.

Ladies

Ladies,

its Valentines Day, or an hour and a half past its true date. Single, and ready to mingle- its what we live for, the motto not the action, cause lets face it, we never feel ready to mingle. I go to a women's college and still my lesbionic self has issues getting my grove on. great life.

So here I quote Beyonce:

"I got gloss on my lips, a man on my hips
Hold me tighter than my Dereon jeans
Acting up, drink in my cup I couldnt care less what you think
I need no permission, did I mention don't pay him any attention
Cuz you had your turn but now you gonna learn
What it really feels like to miss me"

Happy Holidays

Free

When 'Free' is typed in google images, this is your first result, cheers.

State of mind

I am worth more then the grade I get, worth more then the lust I feel, worth more then the glances of a disapproving glare. I am worth more then the situations I am in and even when I know I am smarter enough to leave I stay, because I was instructed to fight till I can't fight anymore, till there isn't anything I could have done that I didn't try my hardest to do.

I deserve more then the second-class citizen status I fall under.

I am worth more then a failing long-term relationship, I am worthy of being chosen first, but first and to remain first. I am worth the tears I cry the pain I endure to keep treading in another’s web of mistakes. I am worth it all but still I end up more empty then when I came.

I deserve sincerity, realness and raw unrefined emotion.

Fucking bring it, I am armed in worth.