Lately while wondering

I have been in these hills for not even two weeks now and I am completely exhausted. I have been grappling with the feeling that I will be spending two more months here and two weeks of those weeks I will be essentially alone in a dorm room that doesnt belong to me and my days will consist of data entry and secretarial spazums. Mmm yes.

In a years review when reflecting back at how I felt last summer on this day I felt a similar mix of emotions. One that consisted of hopes and dreams and anxiety packaged together resulting in making changes and personal goals to drive me forward. I feel like today, a year later my outlook is still anxious but completely different, I hope to be back with those I care most about, I dream to be with the one I love, two months just two more months.

The next few weeks will test my patience, will hopefully teach me a bit more about myself and how I relate and interact with others, but all in all I will survive being a resident assistant for a high school academic program, somehow. In this next month I will bring everything I have to the table.

Copy and post-it

Rather I can do anything and be the person I am, thank you.

Write what you know

Eleanor said it best:

One's philosophy is not best expressed in words; it is expressed in the choices one makes, and the choices we make are ultimately our responsibility - E. Roosevelt

Adventures

Stunning Image from my recent trip to Lake George in upstate New York.

It's those summer days, those hot nights where you want to sleep alone on a cold bed with eight fans on. Those nights you cant seem to get enough sleep because your so sweaty that every fiber of your being is stuck to something, stuck to the bed frame, the sheets, the air. You feel trapped and suffocated but at the same time you feel refreshed that its summer and all your academic worries have drifted from your mental state, but have they?

I feel conflicted, like I forgot something along the last month of my life, did I miss a paper or deadline, did I forget to call someone? I forgot to take it all in that I finished my first year in a new place, that is what I forgot to do. I knew it was being done, that the finish was there but suddenly it was noon on the last day of finals and I was done, but I forgot how it happened.

sidenote of 100%

The meeting of two personalities is like the contact of two chemical substances; if there is any reaction, both are transformed - Carl Gustav Jung

And in the end

We hope for the best,
We plan for the worst.

We expect to learn,
We understand if we fail.

But in the end all the matters is who we meet along the way.